Cars I love because they're hideous. 

"Noah - Now with more boost." (antriebverliebt) 04/06/2016 at 10:50 • Filed to: None

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Some cars are beautiful. Others are boring. And a few of them are so strange looking that their questionable aesthetics are part of the car’s appeal. The nineties are full of vehicles like that, so that decade will be the focus of this post.

The Eldorado. As if a transverse mounted, front wheel drive V8, wasn’t strange enough, this thing is the epitome of rounded edge nineties styling. It’d be straight out of the eighties if the lines had actual corners on them - but it’s 1995! Straight edges are unacceptable. Also, the rear side half window looks like it belongs on a pickup truck, leaving acres of negative space between it and the rear glass. I love these. Future classic maybe?

And then there’s the Riviera. This thing is just a blob. Every section of the car is bulging outwards like someone drew a normal car, plunged a straw into it, and blew it up until it was ready to burst like a capri sun.

The rear is funny too. Everything is an oval. The light cluster, the exhausts, the badge... it goes on. I do like the interior though. I’m a sucker for trim that extends all the way around the cabin.

Leather. AND ACRES OF PLASTIC WOOD. What else do you want out of life?

Bentley products from the nineties are also disgusting. Just look at this thing. Sure - it’s stately and imposing. But it also looks like leftovers from the eighties fridge someone microwaved until they melted a little bit. Then an over sized grille was slapped on, and it went to the showroom.

The interior is funny too. At this point Bentley had used this interior for 15+ years. How imaginative! And totally uninspired. At least the wood is real!

Time to visit the opposite end of the spectrum - the GMC Jimmy. God I hate that name. But just look at it. It’s glorious!! The rounded trapezoidal rear glass is the best part. The interior however, is one of the most offensive things I’ve ever seen, and yes - I have been in one.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 10:56

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The Cadillac ETC. The Cadillac Meh. The Cadillac “Yeah, we’ve given up and don’t care anymore”.

Seriously, whoever suggested that name should have been fired on the spot. Or maybe just laughed back to the Lincoln head office.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 10:57

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Toyota Century?

Cadillac Allante?

Mercedes Streeter > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 10:58

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I love all the retro American cars from the late 1990s and early 2000s...

FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 10:59

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I love all 4 of them and I don’t feel ashamed because of it.

Noah - Now with more boost. > Mercedes Streeter 04/06/2016 at 11:00

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I recently saw a prowler for the first time in over a decade, it was that color. I FLIPPED out haha

Stapleface > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:00

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I dig most of the 90's Cadillacs. Although I will agree ETC is a horrible name. I get what they were going for, but when your car name is essentially saying etcetera, you have kind of doomed it from the start.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:00

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Yeah but my Chevy 4 door version of that GMC was heaven when leaving the 1988 s10 2 door Blazer and moving to the 04 one.

HEAVEN

and yes the “paint” on the buttons on the radio wore off as quick as every other one from that era. Still heaven when you jump 16 years lol

Noah - Now with more boost. > FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem 04/06/2016 at 11:01

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The riviera is probably my favorite, with the caddy a s a close second

mazda616 > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:01

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I love all of those.

itschrome > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:01

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Oh list of cars some one loves because they are ugly *click*, huh all I see are a bunch of beautiful cars.. May I clicked the wrong link.. nope.. You sir created a great list but failed to meet the title expectations...

Bourbon&JellyBeans > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:03

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Yep, some of my ugly obsessions:

Noah - Now with more boost. > itschrome 04/06/2016 at 11:03

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*click*, huh all I see are a bunch of beautiful cars

Subjective!! :P

Noah - Now with more boost. > Bourbon&JellyBeans 04/06/2016 at 11:04

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yeah the crossfire is SUCH a guilty pleasure. I totally want one

FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:08

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The Riviera is probably one of my all time favorite cars. I even like the ETC. My parents were quite fond of it and considered buying one.

Bourbon&JellyBeans > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:09

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I was *this* close to buying an SRT6 before I decided against it. I see them in person and think, “wow that’s pretty ugly,” but there's something so striking about it. It just doesn't look like anything else.

Noah - Now with more boost. > Bourbon&JellyBeans 04/06/2016 at 11:11

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Yeah there’s something striking about them, makes me wonder if younger generations will think they’re awesome

Future next gen S2000 owner > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:12

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I have an irrational love for that gen of Eldorado. Would totally rock one. Put a super soft air ride suspension in it. Just float and chill.

Noah - Now with more boost. > Future next gen S2000 owner 04/06/2016 at 11:14

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Me too. I love the rear ends of that generation of caddy, definitely need one at some point

66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:19

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You can’t mention ugly cars you can’t hate without mentioning the multipla!

Mmmmm....

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:21

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I like the Juke Nismo and the Buick Reatta.

Noah - Now with more boost. > 66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash 04/06/2016 at 11:21

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hahah YES I’d love to see one of these, I can’t believe how hideous they are. I’ve only been to Europe once and I didn’t see one

BarryDanger > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:21

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ooooooh yesssss

and if we can bring it back to 87

and 100 more > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:22

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I love that generation of Eldo...

66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:25

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I can’t really remember because I visited Portugal every summer when I was younger, I probably saw a few, I went there maybe 2 years or so ago and I don’t recall seeing any, I don’t think there are many around any more :(

Bourbon&JellyBeans > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:26

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I wonder as well. I mean, I’m 21, so I am sort of the younger gen. But if you mean kids growing up right now, then yeah, it’s an interesting prospect. I imagine that their uniqueness will give them some points maybe 15-20 years down the line.

Funny thing, I was watching a documentary which was filmed in the 90s and was talking about the 80s. It had a clip of a news reporter claiming that the DeLorean would be the Edsel of the 1980s. But, those are collectors now too!

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:29

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That dash wood on the Riviera is aftermarket. From the factory the only wood is a small surround around the radio/HVAC controls and the shifter, both of which are, at least on my ‘97, real wood. And yes, it looks like a bloated dead whale.

dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 04/06/2016 at 11:30

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I love the Reatta.

But I can’t say the same about the juke.

*barf*

Noah - Now with more boost. > Bourbon&JellyBeans 04/06/2016 at 11:31

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Yeah I’m also in my early twenties (23) and I imagine that people who are still kids now may have a nineties obsession in the same way that I have an eighties obsession. I think there’s something inherently appealing about the era of design you barely missed out on

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem 04/06/2016 at 11:31

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Rivieras are awesome. I really wish mine was Supercharged but no suitable donor vehicles have come along yet.

fennelbreath > Mercedes Streeter 04/06/2016 at 11:32

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It’s weird; aside from the occasional PT Cruiser, I never see ANY of these on the road anymore.

Noah - Now with more boost. > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/06/2016 at 11:32

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aahh good to know!

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > dtg11 - is probably on an adventure with Clifford 04/06/2016 at 11:32

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Aw.... But I like the Juke. Also the Reatta had a touchscreen.

fennelbreath > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:34

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I still have a ladyboner for the B4 Passat. Especially this color, Dusty Mauve.

FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/06/2016 at 11:37

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Oh man a 3800 supercharged Riviera would be the perfect sleeper cruiser couch. I have a weird obsession with 90s/00s Buicks.

shift monkey > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:37

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my personal favorite.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Bourbon&JellyBeans 04/06/2016 at 11:41

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The Juke R is not that ugly in person actually. More like something you can’t believe actual let exist. (Nissan brought on to the Cars and Coffee a few years ago. Nissan's NA headquarters moved to just south of Nashville a few years ago)

gawdzillla > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:43

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no love for pontiac aztek ?

Bourbon&JellyBeans > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars 04/06/2016 at 11:43

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Awesome that you got to see one! Actually I kinda like the whole Juke lineup, but figured that I'd post a picture of the R since this is Oppo. Lol

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Bourbon&JellyBeans 04/06/2016 at 11:45

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The NISMO is cool to see as well. Piping everywere.

CalzoneGolem > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:47

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You came to the wrong neighborhood m8!

Amoore100 > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 11:48

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I always liked the rump of this generation Megane hatch.

It’s just so round, so chic, and so French.

TheHondaBro > 66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash 04/06/2016 at 11:53

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That needs to be in the next Forza 6 car pack.

Mercedes Streeter > fennelbreath 04/06/2016 at 12:02

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Where I live, all of the above vehicles (save for the PT) seem to get put away for the Winter, then come out in the Summer. lol

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem 04/06/2016 at 12:03

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And they’re ENORMOUS.

fennelbreath > Mercedes Streeter 04/06/2016 at 12:06

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IIRC, you live not far from me. :)

That could be true. Maybe I’ll see some aquamarine ‘05 Thunderbirds soon.

Dean Beyer > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 12:09

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Mercedes Streeter > fennelbreath 04/06/2016 at 12:11

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Chicagoland and/or Wisconsin? :D

fennelbreath > Mercedes Streeter 04/06/2016 at 12:13

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I’m in Chicago proper!

66671 - 200 [METRIC] my dash > TheHondaBro 04/06/2016 at 12:19

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10/10 Would buy

Noah - Now with more boost. > Dean Beyer 04/06/2016 at 12:33

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YES these too. And oh wow look at that steering wheel. I need it.

Noah - Now with more boost. > CalzoneGolem 04/06/2016 at 12:34

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u wot m8?

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 12:52

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I can get behind the Riv and the Bentley.

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 12:57

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I LUVS me a Bentley Turbo R.

I’ve SERIOUSLY considered one. More than once. Then common sense takes hold and I realize car maintenance bills should not be more than your mortgage.

Shift24 > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 13:05

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See I like how most of these look and actually like them except the Riviera. Nothing is like the first gen with hide-aways. But the S10 Jimmy/Blazers 2nd gen with box lights are one of my favorite 90s SUVs. It’s all typical GM, its just functional.

I would replace the Riviera with the a early 90s Mark Vii. And thats tuff to say coming from a GM fan.

That interior though.... it’s painful

Elumerere > Bourbon&JellyBeans 04/06/2016 at 13:24

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How does the Hyundai drive, though? We’ve had the choice of rental between this one and a focus hatch.

Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle > Bourbon&JellyBeans 04/06/2016 at 13:26

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Seeing crossfire leads to typical internet down the rabbitholing

Start by going to craigslist because I remember that crossfires are cheap...no cheap crossfires...a Z3 is better looking, and no recirc ball steering, I should search for that anyways...you know though I’d probably want a hardtop, and if you’re going to get a roadster with a hardtop boxsters look amazing with a hardtop...search for boxster...oh man a boxster s with $90,000 miles for $4,600 that needs a “transaxle” that costs $1,500...start searching boxster s transmission issues...see things mentioning IMS bearings...

And Bam, Snap out of car search hypnosis.

facw > BarryDanger 04/06/2016 at 13:29

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I wouldn’t call the Pulsar Sportbak ugly. It’s profoundly ‘80s, but not ugly.

Meatcoma > Noah - Now with more boost. 04/06/2016 at 14:29

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We have similar tastes.

FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/06/2016 at 15:21

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Like W140 S Class enormous? I’ve never seen one up close:(

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem 04/06/2016 at 15:27

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The riviera has a 10inch shorter wheel base, but is 2inches longer overall (lol FWD American car overhangs), is about half an inch wider, and three inches less vertical size than a W140 Mercedez-Benz S-class. Here’s the big deal: The Riviera is a full 1000 pounds lighter than the 4,800lb S-class. Of course, the S-class was available with a V12 making roughly twice the power of my Riv.

FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/06/2016 at 15:31

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1000 pounds lighter?!? Wow.. I think I need a personal luxury coupe in my life and the Riviera should be it.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem 04/06/2016 at 15:36

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I honestly think I’d take a fully loaded supercharged ‘98 Riviera over a comparable S-class. Decent fuel economy, nearly as nice, FWD/RWD doesn’t matter in a luxury highway mile eater, and you can fix it with a hammer if it breaks instead of calling Hans in Germany to send you a new $400 spark plug made from dried Unicorn spunk in order to fix a misfire.

The S-class wins out on sex appeal (because Mercedes), and it’s probably far easier to work on just because of the longitudinal engine (tune-ups on a FWD 3800 car are a bitch), and I’m sure it easily beats the Riv in build quality and neato features, so now I’m really not so sure of my choice. My friend’s ‘05 S-class is just so stupid quiet on the road and the suspension is so good at soaking up everything thrown at it while at the same time destroying all body roll and keeping the car glued to the ground (as glued as you can get in a 6000lb S600). The Riviera’s handling can’t come anywhere close.

Also, V12s are cool.

FSI - alcohol enthusiast with a car problem > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 04/06/2016 at 15:46

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The S Class sure is hard to beat appeal-wise. A dude in my town owns an early 00s S Class coupe with the glorious V12 engine. His insurance rate is sky high just as his repair and maintenence costs. The good thing is that new parts are still available at your local dealership but they’re expensive af. With that said, I’d probably take a Lincoln Mk8 or Riviera over a 8 Series or S Class all day. Plus the American luxobarges are unicorns here in Germany.

Bourbon&JellyBeans > Elumerere 04/06/2016 at 15:46

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I’ve test driven the Turbo and have taken the base model all the way from Maryland to Orlando, FL and back. The Turbo is quick, not fast. Don’t let the name fool you. It has some torque steer and the suspension is meh, but you get a lot of cool tech and options, like the pano-roof. The base Veloster is okay for a rental or a first car. It is slow and most of the dash is well designed but uses cheap materials. Still, in the 1600 miles I drove my friend’s, it didn’t rattle at all. Wind noise is crap, and overall insulation is not great. However, like I said, great unique beginner’s car. I suggested that my girlfriend’s little sister get one as her first car and she did. She wanted something different, and I said “well how about a three-door?” (not counting the hatch). It actually likes to rev and in the last 2000rpm to redline isn’t that much of a slouch. Still, I’ll take my Mustang for driving on I-95...trying to get that thing up to 70+ took time and effort!

djgreenlava > Dean Beyer 04/06/2016 at 16:52

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I don't know if it's all models but I love the matching bucket rear seats.